While there may be plenty of fish in the sea, the rules of engagement have changed. What would the 1950’s advisor Miss Manners say about today’s sexual etiquette, a sleep-over buddy, sex with your ex and sexting? An important Internet survey reported that 52% of those who tried online dating had a positive experience. Patti was determined she would be one of them.
Patti’s Story: Patti (59) had not gone online before but prodded by friends she took the plunge. After all, she thought it beats trying to meet guys at bars and saves time because there are plenty of men looking for a match too. Patti believed the time was right because she was feeling good about herself: she had joined the YMCA, recently lost ten pounds and the drama of her divorce was well behind her. To be on the safe side, she set up a new email address that didn’t include her full name.
Ready, Set, Go Fish: Patti chose a popular site that required a nominal monthly fee, then invited her friend over and with the help of a bottle of wine they created her profile. The site prompted Patti to answer two questions” What is important to you? My 2 awesome children, my wonderfully, big supportive family, my close circle of friends and can’t forget my red wine! What are you looking for? A special man, who is passionate about life, wants to take a risk and is ready for a committed relationship—one of trust, friendship, respect, and eventually love. Patti reported her geographic area and selected the age-range of men between 55 and 65.
The One That Almost Got Away As soon as Patti posted her profile, she received numerous emails and started communicating with three men—Doug, Luke and Darryl. By the 4th week, Patti had exchanged cell phone numbers and was ready to meet all three gentlemen. Darryl (64) was first up and although a meeting was scheduled he became ill and had to cancel. She was SO disappointed because she felt a strong connection with him. This happened a second time and she thought for sure he was seeing someone else or was married. Meanwhile Patti met Luke at a music festival and Doug at a coffee shop and both meetings were less than satisfactory. Although Darryl continued to text her, she remained quiet as she was still suspicious. Patti remembered Darryl’s sense of humour and cute texts that warmed her heart, So although hesitant, she agreed to another meeting.
Thirteen months later Patti and Darryl are still going strong. They’ve agreed to take the relationship slow, providing each other time to deliberately build their bond of trust and respect. Time will tell what the future holds for them but they have had a positive experience and feel enriched for knowing the other.
While on line dating may have not met with the social mores of Miss Manners’ time, it is now the new way of fishing…. Don’t be afraid to put your line in the water.
As published in the CARP Connector, Chapter 58, Edition #2. 2016