Am I Still Sexy?

STL Hollowe'en         Boomers running

When the premier issue of Zoomer magazine hit the stands in October 2008, I was exhilarated that a publication hit my sweet spot. It spoke to me about reinvigoration and energy when the common terms about getting old were elder, the golden years and senior citizen. I wanted to be called something else. The term zoomer actually gave me permission to expect wonderful things from getting older; allowed me to dream of things I had yet to achieve and instilled hope for a triumphant charge into the rest of my life. I no longer wanted to turn the clock back, a useless wish anyway—but I wanted to set the tone and tempo to a new beat. Being a zoomer made me feel sexy.

Moses Znaimer writes in his opening article Hello Zoomers:

“Zoomer is primarily a state of mind! It’s an attitude toward living long – an open, optimistic attitude that combines a desire for new experiences with a sense of purpose and value. It’s an attitude that frankly recognizes the challenges of aging (and actively advocates for them), but also insists that aging doesn’t have to mean retreating from life. … We see this time not as ‘the end’ but as a new and exciting stage in life. And yes, we want romance and expect to continue with the joys of sex.”

Everyone has their own idea of what being sexy is. When I asked my brother-in-law Richard, how he perceived ‘sexiness’ in women he replied “it’s the total package—it starts with the T-zone which is the ‘T’ formed by the eyes and nose. There, I see a window to their souls; how she holds her head, the respectful engagement with the eyes, the confidence in the smile and the meaningfulness of the conversation.” Interestingly, Debbie a nursing colleague and friend, had a similar comment when talking about men, “assertive but not aggressive, friendly but not frenetic, positive but not pssst-off with life and perhaps a bit flirty but not uber-flirtatious.”

Whatever we perceive sexiness to be, it’s the amassing of our life experiences that shines through our persona. What does your T-zone say about you? Are you a bit flirty or a bit assertive?  Is your well-being doing well or could your total package use a re-wire?

For the past 50, 60 or 70 years we have lived—and none of us have done it perfectly. The decisions we made and the priorities we chose were influenced by innumerable factors. As I write my book Still Sexy at 60+……. Seven Secrets to Finding Life’s Sweet Spot, I do not want to dwell on the past but learn from it and use this insight to get it right for the years we have left—because we’ve all had friends who have died prematurely and some perhaps with regrets. We arrive at this juncture in our lives with an abundance of stuff—some good and some not so good:

•          Experienced separation and/or divorce—for better or for worse;

•          Coped with disease and/or disability;

•          Lusted, loved, lost or now in limbo;

•          Procreated new generations;

•          Shielded one’s sexual orientation or bravely came out;

•          Fulfilled career goals or not;

•          Had tragedies and/or blessings;

•          Supported parents at their bedside as they took their last breath;

•          Been okay, not okay or a bit of both.

It’s all good friends. The good news is that we can choose to make a change now and find our sweet spot in life. Stay tuned as we explore this sassy edge to life and use our past to redefine our future. Begin with YES………………….……………………YOLO

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